Something Like Homesickness
Monday, March 1, 2010

I've been feeling that peculiar "I know that I definitely miss/long for/want something but I'm not quite sure what...." kinda feeling lately. 

I've narrowed the "something" down to a few things.

1.  Lakes and Rivers

photos by Melynda 

Oh how I love you West Texas - truly I do! - but your shortage of water leaves a girl with no place to simply sit and contemplate life. 

It sounds melodramatic, but I love to stand at the edge of a river.  Let the water flow over my feet. Throw sticks and leaves in and watch them float downstream.

I love lakes as much or more than rivers.  If I have my husband, a picnic lunch, and a blanket to lay down on, I'm happy for hours on a lakeshore. 

I miss water.  

2.  Lisa 

My friend Lisa (A true kindred spirit!)  (Yes, I'm reading Anne of Green Gables.) lives in Japan.  She comes home for the summer every two years with her husband and four kids.  Kids who are two years older each time I see them. I miss her.  I love that we can keep up via email and blogs (hers is great), but I've been missing her lately.

Our lives are busy, and we can find ourselves in a rhythm of only connecting with each other when we really need to talk  - which means some kind of crisis or heartache is happening.   Granted, a kindred spirit is indeed a treasure in times of crisis or heartache. 

But still....I miss just spending downtime and doing nothing with her.  Talking about nothing.  Although I admit that's is a luxury hard to find even with close, dear friends that live in Lubbock.  Downtime to talk about nothing is a rare treasure for gals in their 30's, huh?  

I miss Lisa.

 Lisa gave me this glass-bead bracelet this summer.  I wear it a lot.  
I say a little prayer for her when I do.

3. Nephew

I miss our little Nephew who resides 8 hours away.  He's such a character.   

I wish I could go to his school events and eventual soccer games. I wish he could play with his cousins.  I wish he could have sleepovers at our house.  

It's made worse at this current juncture because he is soon to have a little sister make her grand entrance into the world, and I wish I could be there to meet her when she's born.

 Connor - age three

I miss Connor.  I miss Elizabeth and she's not even been born yet.

So those are the things.  The things giving me that peculiar not-quite-heartache-but-almost kind of a feeling.

This feeling and I are old friends.  It will make it's way back to the subconscious part of my brain and emotions in a few days and contentment will reign once more.  And truly, I don't want to be anywhere else but Lubbock.  If I were to leave this place now, I know I'd have a heartsick feeling every single day.  This is where my family belongs for now.  I'm quite assured we are right where we need to be, doing just what we need to be doing....I just wish I could merge the best of West Texas with the best of Northeastern Oklahoma with a little best friend thrown in for good measure.  Maybe that's what eternity will be like....


Blogger Tina had this to say:

sorry starr.
let's plan on just talking about nothing again this week! maybe it will hold you over...or maybe it will make you realize we're not lisa, and we're not contemplating by a lake.

March 2, 2010 at 9:12 AM 

Blogger Starr had this to say:

Ha!!! Love it Tina. That's hysterical. If only coffee night could be on a porch deck overlooking the lake. :-) My mind has already been contriving a post (for when this melancholy phase passes) detailing the things that eventually make me forget about all the stuff I miss, and make my heart swell up with gratefulness. You and and the other "kindred spirits" I've met in Lubbock top the list!

March 2, 2010 at 9:25 AM 

Blogger Cash Clan Japan had this to say:

Oh my gosh, you could have WARNED me that you were gonna make me bawl! BOO HOO!! I have this sneaky suspicion that these little heartaches, these longings will sustain through this side of eternity... I think I know exactly what you're feeling. I'm looking at another almost 18 months before I set foot on American soil again, where all but about 10 of my favorite people live. BFF. LYLAS. You're the best. Let's make a phone date. Or Skype--do you have Skype?? I need some face time with you!

March 2, 2010 at 11:25 AM 

Blogger Sara had this to say:

Hey! We're not family. And we don't live in Japan. But we DO have lakes and streams and rivers. Wanna come play in Austin?

March 2, 2010 at 3:40 PM 

Blogger Stephen Cliff had this to say:

Oh, how I miss Connor so much as well. I can't wait for Elizabeth either. I ask about her all the time. But let me tell you what I miss:

1)Quick Trip. Nothing can compare. Stillwater doesn't have any.

2) Ron's hamburger

3) Free food from parents.

Wait a minute... mine are all about consumption of food. Maybe because I didn't get to eat lunch. Hmm...

March 2, 2010 at 3:56 PM 

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Cliff Familyt

I'm Starr Cliff. A domestically-challenged mom, climbing over mountains of laundry to bring you my stray observations and amusing stories about my kids. (more)



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